GHAZAL MOSADEQ
YOU SAY FISH
Translated from Persian
(An elegy for Mahgol)
Before you get to say something three more jars jumped over the wall
We aren’t bound to anything
Where is the sky they say is full of colors?
You know you shouldn’t believe in beauty, the light
And I deny everything, even the paleness of colors
Why?
Since you died last year
So many things have gone missing
Even a Vietnamese restaurant closed down
Now you go on and say beauty, you say light
I say
We shouldn’t have left anything alone
Even those empty, needless thoughts
You say Parrots, especially the pink parrot
Say ruins are made by the cold and hard words
The tragedy is we don’t know
You say fish tuna instead of tuna fish
Say I called but it hasn’t gone through
Say redemption, conflict, mare incognita
I say
We shouldn’t have left anyone alone
Even those who wanted to stay behind
Even those who are far away and we can’t reach
You say no, we didn’t leave them alone, you lie
Say walking around town, I see there’s not a single soul you haven’t slept with
Say it was not half an hour, it was 34 minutes
You say a century passed, and we remained idiots
Say the alarm tone
Hotel food, hospital food
I say we shouldn’t have abandoned
Obsessions and sick thoughts
Even if a light appeared from out of the blue and saved us from our sickness
You say some people can’t help even if they want to
Say let’s do something for adolescence to begin all over again
As if it’s a video game
You say you don’t say, you say you don’t say
Say I never say insincerity
Say the extreme affection of your nature, my ass
You say what did you add up to get this result?
Say it’s not just us who do not have time for words, words don’t have time for us either
Say I fear this bloody war you’ve started is the calm before the storm
Say there’s nothing you can’t find in Sa’adi’s Kuliat
Say at sunset, we plunge deeper than we already have
Are we the sun itself? –
You say there’s still time after death
Say there’s no such thing as dream and reality, things either are or aren’t
Say chronic self-exploration, or invisible objects hitting against each other and the deafening sound as a result
You say you watered this dead plant every day and this happened
Say having fresh things to talk about for two hours every day was no small talk
Say we even outdid ourselves
You say as soon as they say there’s no hope we become more hopeful, all of the sudden
Say that was my shirt you bastard
Say even better, even better, even better
I say we shouldn’t have left any thought unsaid
Even those that have no shape
Even those ugly thoughts, people might misunderstand
You say there is no one
Say come in
Say you don’t remember whether Sohrab met Esfandiar or not
You say it’s a pity if we die now, but then again if not now it would be too late
Say the philosophy of Israq and chuckle at this yourself
As if you said stagnation of thought
I say the past must have fucked up really bad or else it wouldn’t hide
And show its face
Still, we shouldn’t have left the hands of the clock alone
You say it will show face but as a vagabond
Say there’s a reason behind petty things
Say it doesn’t matter that it’s Thursday today, what matters is that it’s Monday
You say to hell with the past
And future too. If it really existed, it would have been here by now
Does it know how long I’ve been waiting here?
You say, halazoon, halazoon, halazoon
As if conjugating an Arabic verb or saying mahzoonam azizam
halazoon, halazoon, halazoon
I say
We shouldn’t have left behind insects either
Let alone animals
You say the pigeon is for shitting over the wall
Say let’s go to the balcony and watch the cemeteries
Say the clouds are so low, so low that I can’t see your head
You say why have you put so many clocks on the wall?
Say these days one expects more from strangers too
Say why should I read the paper? Is it morning already?
You say I talk all this bullshit to fill your empty space
Say ever since you died you haven’t said a thing
Say I don’t know what I’m talking about
I say
We shouldn’t have left alone the good days,
The cheerful days